(5 / 5)
We’re sitting in a draughty “alternative provision” building in Cornwall’s poorest ward
On a rainy Tuesday night
Waiting to watch “Unauthorised Absence”
A film about square pegs
Problem kids
The kids that slip through the net
Entering a slip stream and undercurrent unseen to the general population
The club no-one wants to be in
On this rainy mizzly evening
We’re seeking solace and community
Meeting the Mums of the kids who failed to measure up in the mainstream
We’re here because the child on screen (Freya) is acting out our fresh memories and painful experiences
In the film, Freya’s Mum has no name, no identity
She’s an archetype of the frazzled, tired, exhausted and emotionally fragile parent whose child can’t – not won’t – go to school
The school is omnipresent
Calling, leaving voicemails, chasing, harassing.
Harranguing.
Thin-lipped smiles like paper cuts, salt and daggers
“School is absolutely essential – she missed maths this morning – you think she’s Austistic?! – we have actual Autistic children in this school, children in CARE – we can’t all get what we want can we? – Did you get the information we sent about the parenting course?”
These little nuggets will be like familiar jabs, “well-meaning” advice and old sheet music to the parents of 1 in 5 persistently absent children in England who miss school due to undiagnosed neurodivergence, unmet needs and poverty
Freya’s Mum is tired
Dragging her clawing, distressed, agitated young daughter out of bed
Kicked and punched while stuffing her daughter’s feet into patent Mary Janes
Cajoling her on the pavement, loosing her cool in utter desperation and frustration
She will probably lose her job in the process of trying to advocate for her daughter
We see Freya’s perspective and sensory overload portrayed through sonic distortion, rushing and blurting visuals, confused, jumbled warbling of children’s voices, adult conversations and environmental clutter and noise
In one scene Freya deliberately runs into a wall and absconds into traffic
This 15 minute film may be a short snapshot of an epidemic of mental distress in young people, but it’s potent
The film sees increasing amounts of pressure, threat and punitive measures piled into Freya’s mother, who is already at breaking point
What better way to motivate a child in distress than to take financial resources away from their parent?
As the lights go up in the little room where Mums of neurodivergent teenagers have gathered,
war stories are shared
Their own children have self-harmed, attempted suicide, been told to return to school despite losing family members and travelled out of county in desperation to seek accepted “medical evidence” to prove to their children’s school that their child is convincingly mentally unwell (local GPs recommendations don’t count, see)
Schools get to play judge, jury and in some cases – executioner
In a system where kids are the canaries in the coal mine
And parents are sent to jail for advocating for their canaries
In the alternative provision building in which we’ve found ourselves after four years of trying to find the right setting, we are in good company
Our children have value because they are children
who belong and deserve opportunities
Their value shouldn’t be measured by the degree to which they are able to mask and perform normalcy for the comfort of those flogging Victorian style schooling.
In *this* place, though – Mothers have stepped up and away from the ashes of their child’s school “career”
They’ve organised to find a home
Where skills, ideas and belonging matter
There is a level of understanding and appreciation for what our children CAN do, not what they can’t
This is a place where your child won’t have points deducted from their performance record because they can’t get out of bed on a Wednesday
Here, we won’t be asked why
We will be believed
In this place, children’s participation won’t be authorised or un-authorised
They will be welcomed and accepted
In this place children will follow their own interests:
Cyber security
Alpaca care
Law
Plumbing
Art
Gaming
Working alongside one another, building confidence and daring to believe that their windy learning path is no less valuable than those who could cope with GCSEs and conventional learning
There should be a place for every single “Freya” in this country
And support for every single Mum like Freya’s Mum…
Without being demonised or destroyed in the process
This film is critical viewing for anyone who knows and cares for children or their parents
If you don’t understand neurodivergence, watch this film
If you understand neurodivergence, watch this film
If you work in a school or a local authority, watch this film
If you make decisions about schools or laws about families, watch this film
If you commission services, watch this film